The receiver of the feedback is responsible for the communication going wrong!
To understand this assumption, we must look at the Behavioral Iceberg.
In a feedback situation, the receiver always has the tendency to consider feedback as a criticism on their personality. And yes, “always” may seem like a big assumption, but it is not. On the other hand, the reaction is completely natural. Part of the human response pattern is all about going into defense or retaliation. We react to feedback as if we were exposed to personal criticism.
When I have to give you feedback, it is solely based on your behavior that is visible to me.
Your personal attitudes, values and your personality play no role in my feedback. The only thing I can actually relate in my feedback, is your behavior alone.
For this reason, the responsibility for the successful transmission of the feedback rests upon both the sender and the recipient. For example: If you experience me as being unstructured, it is important that we talk about what it is that makes you consider me unstructured. Again, what behavior of mine lead to you giving me that feedback.